Motivation:
Questions answered
May 29 2016
Q: Why and how do you keep growing?
I want to challenge the mindset that discourages us from actively improving when we think it wouldn't matter or be worth it anymore. If you were the richest, the strongest, the best, would you want to be richer, stronger, better? If yes, why and how would you do it?
A: The first thing to understand is that humans have a deep seated need for growth, whether it represents itself as dissatisfaction, obsession, problem solving, ambition, or inspiration. It has been a key instinct in the evolution of mankind and still is a major contributor to how we feel and act. You can take it further and realize that it is actually a law of nature: Anything that is alive is always seeking more growth otherwise it is dying.
If we accept this, then it can change our approach to things in a manner that is focused on growth and not on “dying”. By having an attitude that we see everything as growth we actively change how we interact with what life generates, and our perceptive of where we should be focusing our energy.
The next thing is that we need to be self-aware of where we are and where in our life we should be focusing our attention. Life can be broken down to six different areas: Family & home, Financial & Career, Mental & educational, Physical & health, Social & cultural, and Spiritual & ethical. If we score each area out of 10, I would be extremely surprised that anyone has a 10/10 score in all areas of life. If you score each area, you now can see where you should be focusing on your growth. This enables goals to be set, plans to be hatched, and balance to be achieved via directed growth.
This concept was originated by Paul Meyers, the founder of Success Motivation Institute (SMI), as the “Wheel of Life” and has been adapted by many since. If you are interested, you can actually use the “Wheel of Life” if you visit their site.
May 30 2016
Q: When you fell down, why did you pick yourself up?
A: I have been knocked down many times and I have always picked myself up and keep going. It’s like an inbuilt thing… it’s like I don’t have a choice… believe me, sometimes I wish I did.. to just stop pushing, trying, growing… and to just exists… but I cant.
I heard a speech a long time ago that has stuck with me since… I cant even remember who the gave the speech but it put it really well for me. It was about Valley Dwellers and Mountain Climbers.
Valley Dwellers and Mountain Climbers are both action words and descriptions of people. As a description of people, it helps us to know the personality, passion, perspective, prospects of a people; as an action word, it helps us to know their practices (what they do).
Valley Dwellers are the people who settle at the land of convenience and comfort - a place where they just wait. They don’t challenge themselves nor do they take responsibility for what is happening to them. Most of the time it is external influences that are running their lives: The kids, the spouse, friends, neighbors, work, society, the government. You can always tell valley dwellers as they are always complaining.
The other side of the coin are the Mountain-Climbers; people in transit, always learning, always growing, always advancing. They see a mountain and they have to climb it. No matter how often they fall off they have to climb. Once a mountain climber always a mountain climber.
Mountain climbing is actually a venture and since no one ventures into a venture without purpose and a strong will, it is almost impossible for the lazy, purposeless and quitters of the valley to venture into mountain climbing. Mountains are actually a land of courage and commitment, only the determined few attempts to climb it.
I am a mountain climber and will always be a mountain climber so I will always pick myself up and keep moving forward.
A Side note: Valley dweller behavior is actually not permanent can be replaced with mountain climber behavior, and some do this.
May 30 2016
Q: I'm afraid that if I act like myself around others they won't like me or will think I'm crazy. How can I stop feeling this?
People always tell me I'm crazy or that I'm interested in weird things. When I talk to people I put on a very fake persona because I think they won't like me or think I'm crazy. What can I do to get over this? I don't think I'm "crazy" like mental hospital crazy but I'm definitely different.
A: This situation must be challenging for you, to doubt yourself so much. The pressure we can feel from our perception of the judgement of others can be debilitating. So much so it can cause serious psychological issues including depression, social anxiety and personality disorders.
Ideally, in a perfect world, we are true to ourselves and others opinions don’t affect us. There are lots of quotes and sayings, like “what you think of me is none of my business”, that represent this but it is really hard to achieve.
I could give you lots of quotes, or point you at different books, but I am sure there will be lots of that. Instead I suggest you invest some time defining your values. When you have clearly defined values and you choose to live by them, you do not need to fear the opinions of others.
Good luck.
May 30 2016
Q: How do you develop mental toughness?I grew up living a relatively privileged life. I've always been "successful." I graduated college with a 4.0 in computer science. However, I owe most of that to natural intelligence not hard work. I have terrible impulse control. I don't think I've ever been truly motivated. I don't feel in control.
A: It sounds like to me that you haven’t found anything that has ignited your passion yet. I may be wrong but the way you frame your question is you sound bored.
I think that you could benefit from finding something to get passionate about. The trouble is most of us wait for something to come along and grab us. The reality is that most people don’t have a clue what they want to do with their lives. Rather than sitting around on a computer forum I think you should get off your arse and discover what feels important to you. Passion is the result of action... not the cause of it.
But how do you do that? I found a really good article a few years ago that contained questions that would help anyone find something they are passionate about. Its called
7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose.
Hope it helps!